BY:Francesco Di Domenico
The Falling Bag
Francesco
An icy shape falling down from the sky, like a man who is partying all night.
Taking me and making me your friend.
You take me and make me a ball and create a snowmen and get presents.
But in summer i melt away and the fun is destroyed.
Taking me and making me your friend.
I fall of the sky like rain falls of clouds, and falling on you.
Everybody wants to mess around with me!
And kids are having fun and i say happy Christmas.
And kids are having fun and i say happy Christmas.
Taking me and making me your friend.
Dear Francesco
ReplyDeletethe poem you wrote is very beautiful and touching
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Francesco,
ReplyDeleteThese are very creative thoughts. I do feel that the block writing style could be worked on. I love the refrain,"Taking me and making me your friend." It is beautiful but it seems to get lost in the shape. I find it difficult to really find the theme. I'll see you on Monday for a quick conference and we'll work on the shape and the use of some more figurative language. Mrs Hoegen
Dear Francesco
ReplyDeleteI like The way you used your words. But there a few spelling mistakes like destroid also you might not want to put your words in all caps because that can mean you are supposed to yell or talk loud. Awesome poem!
Sincerly Gustav
Dear Francesco,
ReplyDeleteI agree with Gustav that there are some spelling mistakes that you could easily fix, I also got a little lost since their was no punctuation and you wrote the poem in paragraph form, but overall, a fine poem indeed.
Sincerely, Cole
Dear Francessco,
ReplyDeleteI really like the meaning! You do have a few spellig mistakes though, but can easily be fixed. The poem is very interesting!
Kaitlyn
Dear Francessco
ReplyDeleteyour do have a few mistake but although wise its awesome
Dear Frendscsco
ReplyDeletei really liked your poem
it is very interesting
Jules Grelot
Dear Francesco, what a powerful poem. I really like your repeat phrase because it's very powerful and touching. It makes me think of how when i came here i had no friends, but you came along and helped me a lot. I think the poem would be easier to read and to understand if you organized the sentences a little better. Again, amazing poem and theme.
ReplyDeleteBest regards,
Alon Haas
dear fransecso i think your poem is beautiful you use beautiful word
ReplyDeleteDear Francesco,
ReplyDeletenow, your poem looks a lot better and is a lot easier to read.
There are still some little spelling mistakes and letters which need to be capitalized.
Besides that, your poem is beautiful.
Alon Haas
Francesco this poem is amazing!
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you used your metaphors and i loved the real meaning of the poem which is the snow falling.
Dear Apurva,
ReplyDeleteYou are right