Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Future Will Be Better

    Future Will Be Better        By:Cole

Life was bustling
for this elderly bag
Today,
life is now a drag
Live for the future
Devastation
upset,
and defintetly
depressed
Live for the future
In a blue funk
abandoned
Live for the future
Airtight the bag
Life will adjust
like a piece of mechanism in a factory
No more down in the dumps
Focus on my secret life
I'm just a little fish in a big blue ocean
Savor the times I still have left
I am  my own
Chosen One
Live for the future
for the future
shall be better

14 comments:

  1. Dear Cole,
    I really liked the words that you used for example funk and Bustling
    Tommy

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  3. Dear Cole,
    I thought that your poem was really touching
    Best regards John Stuart

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  5. Dear Cole,
    I think your poem is amazing because it is so touching and so real. sometimes, I feel the same way as the bag sometimes thinking that life is a drag. I really like your beautiful personification. I think that after you say "live for the future" your repeat phrase the second time you don't repeat it for more than ten lines. I think you should repeat your repeat phrase once or twice during these ten lines.
    Again, amazing poem.
    Best Regards, Alon Haas

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  9. Dear Cole,
    I think this poem is very touching and i really liked your methaphores for example "I am just a little fish in a big blue ocean"
    Amazing poem!!
    Reagards Francesco

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  10. dear Cole
    your poem is amazing i love your similes and metaphors
    from louis

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  11. Dear Cole,
    I really loved your rhyming scheme, for example
    Life was bustling
    for this elderly bag
    Today,
    life is now a drag

    Your story was very touching!!!

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  12. Dear Cole,
    I loved your poem and thought it was very real and toughing! My favorite
    metaphor was "I am just a little fish in a big blue ocean." I totally agree, that life can be a drag. Amzing!
    Kaitlyn

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  13. Dear Cole,
    amazing poem I liked your personifications and your similes
    I really like reading the poem at the same time listening to the song
    nice poem
    From Adrien

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  14. Dear Cole, What a fine and variated poem. I am sure that living today is living for the future. Kindly Dorrit (Conrad's mother)

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